Recipes: Tasty delights Head Chef.
The BLMB's Head Chef Ainsley 'Woz' McRhodes is very proud of his innovative recipes that cunningly substitute conventional ingredients for lard. Read on and see how Pork Pie and Baked Alard-ska can change your eating habits forever.

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Pork Pie Baked Alard-ska
The BLMB's Head Chef
Ainsley 'Woz' McRhodes.
Barry Senior emailed in with the following corkers - Thanks Barry!

I've given these lard recipes to my sixth formers. I'm a chemistry teacher and lard aficionado.

1. Butter substitute
Gently melt a block of lard in a pan. Not too hot. Mix in a teaspoon of yellow food colouring (preferably E102 for all the hyperactives) and two teaspoons of salt. Pour into a mould and allow to set in the fridge. Hey presto, instant butter with all of the goodness of vitamin L.

2. Chocolard
Again, melt a block of lard in a pan. Stir in two desert spoons full of cocoa and two tablespoons of sugar (white, refined, none of that namby pamby brown stuff). Pour into a mould. When nearly set add a fancy pattern and when set wrap in tin foil.

3. Deep Fried Lard
Freeze a block of lard until really hard. Dip in thick batter and then fry in hot lard for a few minutes until the batter is golden brown. Especially good after 14 pints of Tennents.

4. Lard Nuggets
Cut a block of lard into bite sized pieces. Freeze really hard. Quickly dip in beaten egg and then breadcrumbs. Fry in shallow lard for three minutes. A gourmet treat.

5. Roulard
Take a block of lard from the fridge and roll it out to about half an inch thick. Sprinkle it with herbs, or parsley or grass cuttings. Roll it up. Looks and tastes delicious on the cheese tray at a posh dinner party.

6. Lardesers
Using a melon baller make little balls from a block of lard. Coat in chocolate or even chocolard. A tasty, lard based snack at any time.